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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27627821">Analysis of the 15.19 Montage</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonwithatale/pseuds/Trisscar368'>Trisscar368 (Dragonwithatale)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fanwork Research &amp; Reference Guides, Meta, Meta Essay, Non Fiction, i'm sorry about the fact that I can't do gifs over here, it's still a mess but it's post or delete at this point lol, ngl the number of people who've said they wanted to read this has uh... not been nice to my anxiety</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:14:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,197</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27627821</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonwithatale/pseuds/Trisscar368</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A ridiculous breakdown of all the episodes involved in the 15.19 montage, as performed by a sleepless cabbage</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Analysis of the 15.19 Montage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Welcome to Supernatural Meta Scavenger Hunt: Insanity Edition.  We’re going to be going over the montage from 15.19 today on a few different levels - surface read and “why am I going this in depth over a montage” and then a great big glob of supernatural episode meta that is probably best taken in multiple sittings.</p><p>There is a *lot* here.  The episode breakdown section ends up covering about a quarter of the episodes of the show.  The show will end with 327 episodes, this montage appeared in the 326th, and there are 96 clips from 71 episodes — you do the math there.</p><p>I’m going to have to ask you to come down the rabbit hole with me - I’ve put the immediate context of the shots, any lines just before or just after, and then pulled the Brother Conversation or overarching meta theme of the episode.  I’m not going to be able to simplify things because, well, if I tell you Dean eating a donut is representative of Dean and Castiel’s relationship arc in 15.04 you’re going to look at me like I’m nuts if I don’t show my work.</p><p>And you’re really not going to believe me when I tell you Dean is in a sailor outfit because of 15.18.</p>
<hr/><p>So.  </p><p>Montage.</p><p>I know there are people who watched the 15.19 montage and had a lot of feels, and that was not me.  From what I can tell a lot of the fandom is there with me — even viewing the whole thing through the lens of “they picked visual moments to match and illustrate the lyrics of this song they wanted,” it falls flat.  I kept sitting there going “why did you pick this shot for here?  WHY IS DEAN IN THE SUBMARINE.”  It’s very surface level, here’s all these moments that you recognize as being from this series but nothing about what the show actually is.  It was incredibly nostalgic without having the substance of what I fell in love with.  It was “remember supernatural?”</p><p>I’m going to just confess right here that this vague feeling of “well this is hollow and pointless and flat” was all the motivation I needed to go Operation Stringboard.  I’m easily obsessive — I once spent 32 hours straight going through five seasons of the show because Sam Winchester’s bedroom didn’t stay put from one episode to the next and WHAT THE HELL.  Montage feels a bit funny?  Find some string and get in losers, we’re going hunting for episodes and meaning and sleep is for those without ADHD.</p><p>I also firmly believe that Andrew Dabb has never met a narrative mirror he didn’t want to use, and he’s infected everyone on staff.  So for me it was less a question of “is there a pattern” than “until I prove there isn’t one assume shenanigans.”</p><p>Supernatural does montages more than basically any other show and it also rarely ever does them.  There are a very very small not-even-a-handful of episodes that don’t have a Then section (8.04 is the only one that comes to mind), so there’s a montage every week and then a Super Montage at the end of every season for the Road So Far segment.  This show <em> knows </em> how to do montages.  The editing team is always spot on pulling moments from the entire run of the show to go “hey, here’s everything you need to know in a thirty second infodump, plot character arcs and emotional beats, and oh yes this metatextual thread from season 6 is relevant again, now ON WITH THE EPISODE.”</p><p>And yet they rarely use montages as a narrative device -- 6.14 has a montage of Dean and Lisa’s relationship falling apart, 7.17 has Castiel remembering his life, 5.22 has flashbacks to kid!chesters and what the brother relationship meant, and 12.11 has a closing montage set around Dean riding Larry (which they’d spent the entire episode teasing us with.)  Also Charlie doing a clothing montage in 8.20.</p><p>The montage in 15.19 is an oddity.  It doesn’t function like any of these others. It’s not about story arcs — most of the big mytharc episodes are missing, as are the majority of our villains.  It’s not character and relationship specific — it does not contain any of the big moments between our protagonists and other guest characters, it’s missing most of the classic Broments outside of one (ONE) brother hug and a few moments from the Pilot.  </p><p>So why does this one feel wrong?  And why did they pick so many shots that are recognizably *this show* while still being “where the hell did that come from?”</p><p>I say that because I had to work at identifying these.  I do this a lot — I know I’ve dropped off of the face of tumblr but I’m still doing meta analysis.  I started working on this when I woke up the morning after the episode aired, and while I managed to get maybe 93% right after the episode aired, it took me two full days to identify the rest of them with the help of people who are as obsessive as I am.</p><p>There are a lot of shots of people smiling.  There’s a lot of characters, there’s a handful of iconic episodes (like Changing Channels), but in most cases those aren’t the shots that I would grab for that character or that episode or that visual cue - yes they fit the lyrics pretty well, but they aren’t the most iconic shots, they aren’t the best beloved episodes for fandom or ga, they’re completely lacking in the big emotional arcs and moments.  They aren’t the shots that *previous montages* would have grabbed.  It’s a very well done illustration of the lyrics but it still manages to progress through the entirety of the show in a vague order: the classic days, the mytharc expansion, gathering found family and expanding into more of an ensemble cast, and the modern Dabb era.</p><p>Add on top of that the song - Running On Empty, look at all the things we accomplished but this road… we’re traveling along that road because we’ve been here so long, and everything you used to turn to for help or comfort is in the same place you are right now.  What we’ve been doing isn’t good enough and we’re tired but we don’t know how to stop.</p><p>The song itself is hollow.</p>
<hr/>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Okay - what follows is the episode by episode breakdown.  I’ve listed things by number, not episode title, and the writers + director are listed the first time each episode appears.  I’ve done my best to describe what visually happens in the clip because I can’t do gifs here on ao3.  I’ve also divided things into sections based on the cuts back to the present day - they really do end up functioning as groups of episodes based on when they cut back to the chorus, and it definitely makes it easier to chew through the sheer amount of information around those episodes.</p>
  <p>And then of that massive pile of information, I’ve pulled what I have felt to be relevant for the conclusions at the end of each grouping.  There is a *lot* here.  I’ve aimed for completionism over “it’s definitely just this one theme” because a lot of the patterns only became visible once I had everything on the table.  And there are still pieces that I’m not happy with (why those characters for the montage?  Where’s Benny?)</p>
  <p>You’re going to want 5.08, 10.05, and 5.22 as mental reference points.  Specifically I ended up thinking a lot about Chuck’s monologue from Swan Song, how it starts with history and develops into the journey and how things mean more than what they are on the surface (the car isn’t just a car, but talking about the car also transitions into the road the characters were on).</p>
  <p>You will see some episodes are marked with an asterisk.  That means the clip they used had someone smiling.  I marked them because they creeped me out.  This is not a happy show and most of the people smiling are dead.</p>
</blockquote><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[Present day] car shot</strong>
</p><p>The impala is covered in dust as it heads down the road.  The world is dingey and faded sepia -- normally I’d pin yellow as nostalgia but it’s close enough to orange that I’m just going to go point at the orange entry in the color handbook.  It’s a negative color on Supernatural; it usually deals with being stuck in the past and unable to move on.  It’s not a sunset (the sun angles and shadows says they filmed during the middle of the day) - it was deliberately color graded and it’s WEIRD.</p><p> </p><p><strong>1.01 (Kripke and Nutter)</strong> - Sam and Dean when Dean breaks into Sam’s apartment, realizing who each other is and standing up.  Dean asks Sam “if I called would you have answered” - the episode and show then focuses around “dad’s on a hunting trip”, so missing family and a quest to find them again.  This is where we started out - classic SPN, everyone will recognize this if they loved the old days of the show.  This is the moment their lives and ours changed.</p><p> </p><p><strong>1.01</strong> - the photo of Sam and Dean as boys and John that was in the motel room.  This is right after “no chick flick moments.”  The previous conversation they’re reacting to what happened on the bridge a few hours previous -- Sam yelled at Dean about how is Mary is gone and she isn’t coming back and here he’s apologizing.  Sam is still pushing hard at this point on letting go, moving on, and how this isn’t going to be his life.  The photo itself is… family, and a bit bittersweet, because it’s a moment when they were by all appearances happy but that’s not where their family ended up.  This is also one of the only two shots of John.  </p><p> </p><p><strong>1.01</strong> - Sam and Dean in the impala going over Dean’s music collection - “house rules, driver picks the music shotgun shuts his cakehole.”  Sam is poking at Dean over his choice of music, why haven’t you moved on or changed?  This is also a classic spn quote and moment.  This is the beginning, this is the thing you fell in love with.  And then on a meta level, whoever is in charge… is in charge.  The person driving decides what the tone will be.</p><p> </p><p><strong>1.01</strong> - Impala driving (jerico 7 miles) (first of three quick shots about the road) -- again, classic supernatural visual</p><p> </p><p><strong>1.22 (Kripke and Kim Manners)</strong> - the Impala leaving bobby’s yard.  Sam and Dean are leaving Bobby’s after interrogating Meg - going to save family, and then the episode is family vs the quest, are you willing to march to orders or is it more important to save the people you care about?</p><p> </p><p><strong>2.03 (Gamble and Singer)</strong> - Impala driving away down the road (during the back in black sequence, the impala has just been repaired and they’re able to get back to normal).  The episode covers Dean and Sam both mourning John in different ways, keeping a brave face after loss.  There’s also a lot of repressing emotions and playing at being okay, and at the end (which we get a shot from later) Sam and Dean have a conversation about anger issues and black and white morality, what makes a monster?  Should you question what you’ve been told?  And is it enough to try your best?</p><p> </p><p><strong>1.03</strong> <strong>(Gamble &amp; Tucker and Manners)</strong> - Dean pulling Lucas out of the water.  The context of the scene is a “take me instead” - a father sacrificing himself for a child.  Despite his fuckups he loved us and that’s enough.  The episode is a lot of John in the narrative gap, trauma and loss and the effect it has on you (mute!Dean), and “we’re not going to save everybody.”  It’s also a classic spn visual because of how early in the show it is.</p><p> </p><p><strong>4.13 (Loflin &amp; Dabb and Kane)</strong> - Sam and Dean standing in the gym, Dean is in the shorts outfit (“the whistle makes me their god” and “walk it off” are surrounding quotes).  Again, classic spn visual but not… this shot.  Dean’s in the red shorts but we can’t see the full outfit, just a shot of their heads.  The episode is classic “we’re going undercover”, which is something we stopped seeing as often in more modern seasons, but the thematic heart is about happiness.  Dean is pretending all the time, being the cool kid and keeping up this armor of tough guy that ends up pushing people away.  Sam on the other hand, is flat out asked, are you happy with your life?  He wasn’t as a kid, and it’s left unanswered in the present but the implication is not really.  He didn’t want to grow up to be a hunter.</p><p> </p><p><strong>5.07* (Gamble &amp; Klein and Singer)</strong> - Dean coming out of a building and joyfully jumping up in the air to click his heels together.  Sam just won a poker game against a witch, giving Dean back his years/life.  The focus of the episode is “I can’t go on without my family”, both the witch’s lover mourning her daughter and Dean trying to keep Bobby from giving up and committing suicide.</p><p> </p><p><strong>5.06 (Loflin &amp; Dabb and Beeson)</strong> - Sam and Dean show their FBI badges through a peephole.  Classic SPN “we pretend to be the fbi this is something you like” moment.  Sam and Dean are about to visit a trauma victim to talk about how the supernatural derailed her life.  Episode context is Jesse the cambion, Jack’s precursor (hi Dabb).  The theme is about lying - you protect your kids by lying to them about how bad the world really is, and you tell them stories, but if they believe those lies it has an impact.  The truth can change everything, but if you don’t have the truth and tell the truth it’s impossible to make the right choices.  (*Waves hands at Jack in 14.20* Imagine a world with no lies.)  And you do have a choice.  The episode ends with Jesse choosing to leave his family behind - he’s too powerful to stay, but he loves them and he’s leaving to keep them safe.</p><p> </p><p><strong>2.20 (Tucker and Kripke)</strong> - Dean mowing the lawn for Mary (song: what a wonderful life).  Visually this is a very young Dean, which fits the song lyrics.  But.. any s1/2 shot would do that just as well, so why on earth this episode?  The conversation Dean and Mary had just had was “shouldn’t you be at work” (hunting) and Dean goes and grabs a lawnmower that has no blades to cut grass that doesn’t need to be cut.  He’s ecstatic to be getting to do something normal for once, and it leaves him with a sense of accomplishment but in the end it’s as hollow as the rest of the fantasy the djinn put him in.  Fantasy vs reality, and how their lives aren’t a fairytale.  If they hadn’t gone through the trauma and loss that they did, they wouldn’t be the people they are.</p><p>But why do they have to be the ones to save the world?  Why does Dean have to sacrifice happiness for duty?</p><p>‘I wished for mom to be back.’  And ‘all I can think about is what this job’s cost us.’</p><p> </p><p><strong>2.20*</strong> - Jessica smiling and kissing Sam at dinner (context - telling the family they’re getting married, and Jess telling Sam “They’re your family”.)  Jessica as a character - the love you lost, the thing that put you on this path, the maybe that haunts you.  This episode is again fantasy vs reality.</p><p> </p><p><strong>12.11* (Glynn and Badham)</strong> - Dean shot the witch and gives Sam a thumb’s up and grin (scene - correctly not shooting Sam (brother!) and instead killing the imposter (witch!)).  This whole episode is the supernatural imposing false happiness on someone, and looking at what their lives would be without the trauma.  ‘It wasn’t just the bad stuff that vanished it was everything, if this is what happy looks like I don’t want it.  Without what we lived through we aren’t us.’</p><p> </p><p><strong>3.08* (Carver and Tobin)</strong> - Sam smiling and handing Dean eggnog during improvised Christmas (scene - did I add enough alcohol to this? ) Episode - spending one last holiday with your family before you die.  Family sacrifices and spending time together, even though this isn’t perfect it means something to *me* that you tried.  Forced happiness.</p><p> </p><p><strong>3.03* (Edlund and Singer)</strong> - Sam and Dean holding the massive check, looking up at the confetti with a grin.  They just won a bunch of free food at Biggersons, but it’s not natural or normal.  Something supernatural is messing with their lives, giving them nice things and then going to take them away.</p><p> </p><p><strong>11.04* (Robbie and Wright)</strong> - Sam smiling while eating a sandwich (brother bickering w/ Night Moves, getting to see them outside of the story and how they are as people instead of just the characters) Family again - the woman who was turned was doing anything to save her family.  The episode is meta in how it’s filmed - we’re outside of the story seeing the gaps.  This is the episode though with the conversation about “do you ever want something more?”  A life after hunting, or with someone while hunting.  Are we going to end up alone?</p>
<hr/>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p> </p>
  <p>Lyrically, the song is “looking back at the years”, the early days, and visually it matches.  This section is a lot of “classic spn”, callbacks to the pilot and early episodes and brothers and things like the badges and funny outfits.  This is where we started out - two brothers in a car, going around the country “picking fights with ghosts.”</p>
  <p>On a meta level, we have family threads and “are these characters happy about their lives?  They have each other, is that enough?”  And we’ve got an introduction to fantasy vs reality in the form of 2.20 - losing Mary and Jessica defines them at this point.  Losing John.  And we also have “the supernatural is manipulating you.”</p>
  <p>We have two flash forwards to more current episodes - we wouldn’t be who we are without the pain that we lived through, and do you ever think about something more?</p>
</blockquote><hr/><p> </p><p>[Present day] car shot</p><p> </p><p><strong>3.06 (Andries and Bole)</strong> - two ghosts collide in an explosion of water and I cannot find a single good non-screwball meta reason for why this shot other than “hey look at this cool fx we did!”.  It’s classic season spn, but it’s… kind of one of the episodes fandom likes least.  The episode is going over guilt over causing the death of a family member.  Not just loss but “I did this”.</p><p>This is the episode and scene where Castiel is first mentioned by name -- Sam uses him in the spell to summon the ghost.  Again, <em> no good not-screwball theories. </em></p><p> </p><p><strong>3.03</strong> - Bela just stole the cursed rabbit foot (she’s visually pleased with herself as she pulls off her disguise).  Classic spn episode, back in the good old days when we just thought Sam was the antichrist… “I’m batman”, “I lost my shoe” and Sam colliding with lamps :D  But Bela just stole their luck.  Good things don't happen, they get taken away.  Mentally, I’m having a hard time not jumping forward to 15.10/15.11 </p><p> </p><p><strong>4.18 (Siege &amp; Weiner and Rohl)</strong> - Chuck reading from his script as Sam and Dean knock at the door.  The author has officially entered the narrative, even if he doesn’t seem to be expecting it.  Also has the line “I am a cruel and capricious God” and Cas going against orders to hint at a solution that will get them off of the script.  This is a double meta episode, we both meet the writer and we get to see Sam and Dean doing laundry - we get to see their lives outside of the story the same way that 11.04 shows us.  Our lives aren’t a book, they’re not a tv show, other things happen.  Thematically we end on a combination of “we will always end up here” and “when you’re stuck where you don’t want to be, write yourself out of it”.</p><p> </p><p><strong>5.21 (Gamble and Sgriccia)</strong> - Death looking up at Dean from the table (“You’ll reap God?”  “oh yes”  Full convo - </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Death: You have an inflated sense of your importance. To a thing like me, a thing like you, well... Think how you'd feel if a bacterium sat at your table and started to get snarky. This is one little planet in one tiny solar system in a galaxy that's barely out of its diapers. I'm old, Dean. Very old. So I invite you to contemplate how insignificant I find you. Eat. Good, isn't it?</p>
  <p>Dean: Well, I got to ask. How old are you? </p>
  <p>Death: As old as God. Maybe older. Neither of us can remember anymore. Life, death, chicken, egg. Regardless -- at the end, I'll reap him, too.</p>
  <p>Dean: God? You'll reap God?</p>
  <p>Death: Oh, yes. God will die, too, Dean.</p>
  <p>Dean: Well, this is way above my pay grade.</p>
  <p>Death: Just a bit.</p>
</blockquote><p>Episode overall, are you willing to sacrifice Sam to this?  Does Chuck’s story win out?</p><p>Death as a character is about order, rules, I don’t like people messing with the way things are supposed to be.  Death was also a massive moment of power expansion - the world is getting bigger.</p><p> </p><p><strong>4.01 (Kripke and Manners)</strong> - Dean coming out of his grave (and doing just fine).  There are bigger things at play, you’ve been given a fresh start, coming out of despair/death into the light.  Episode is reunions, hope when you were hopeless, something big is at work - it’s cosmic, and you’re working in the dark.  Good things do happen.  Have faith.  Also the change from “we’ve got work to do” to “we have work *for* you”.</p><p> </p><p><strong>4.01</strong> - Dean looking at himself in the gas station mirror, finding the handprint on his shoulder - a claim on a living soul.  Something that changes you, a mark that you’ve been saved.  But what does it *mean* (at the time Dean has no idea what could do that, or why, or what they want)</p><p> </p><p><strong>5.10 (Edlund and Sgriccia)</strong> - Crowley pointing the Colt at the camera.  He’s about to hand it over to Sam and Dean so they can go hunt Lucifer.  The character is… not doing what is expected, working on his own agenda, always five steps ahead (he’s <em> Crowley </em>).  And he’s doing something nice for a reason they don’t understand.  The episode however is full of family and loss - saying goodbye to Ellen and Jo, losing hope, there are consequences to fighting - can you win against prophecy and the narrative?</p><p> </p><p><strong>5.18 (Carver and Sgriccia)</strong> - Dean stabbing Zaccariah in the face, Zach’s wingprints on the floor of the green room.  Heaven rigs the game to get you to do what they want and that doesn’t work well with Dean.  Screw destiny, screw prophecy, rip up the script.  The character is a middle management proto-chuck, who will do anything to get Dean to play his role and follow the script.</p><p> </p><p><strong>5.13 (Gamble &amp; Weiner and Boyum)</strong> - Anna standing outside at night.  This is while she’s summoning Uriel -  “we’re under strict orders not to come down here, much less take a vessel” — “I need you to kill some humans”.  Anna as a character is a compliment/counterpoint and precursor to Castiel.  She’s the one who fell first (for sex/love), to experience things she’d always wondered about.  Rule breaker.  The episode, though, is free will (“I got to believe that I can choose what I do with my unimportant little life”) vs destiny/the script (”Free will is an illusion, Dean.  This is all a plan”) and trying to save John and Mary by cutting the trauma off before it can happen - something that they answer in 14x13.  And it’s above all the supernatural railroading their lives, because Anna was brainwashed before she was sent on this quest, and then John and Mary both lose their memories of what happens so they are forced to go down the same road.</p><p> </p><p><strong>5.22 (Kripke &amp; Gerwertz and Boyum)</strong> - Michael being molotov cocktailed.  Castielus interruptus throwing off the plan and the script and giving Dean room to act.  Michael is a Dean mirror, the worst case scenario of what Dean could have become - the good little soldier, God’s Perfect Son, getting his ass kicked and ejected from the scene.</p><p> </p><p><strong>5.22</strong> - Sam and Michael falling into the pit.  This is the original tearing-up-the-script ending.  This wasn’t the way things were intended to go, choosing love over the “epic fight” wasn’t planned.  This also has Chucks’ original monologue about “They chose family.  Isn’t that the whole point?” and endings not actually being the end.  It’s our original the author is the Author episode, and a story-within-a-story.</p><p>Love is the thing that saves you and breaks through supernatural mindcontrol and all the forces and pressures the world can put on you.</p><p>Side note - wrap up with Cas for the thematic point.  “You got what you asked for, Dean.  No paradise, no hell, just more of the same.  I mean it Dean - what would you rather have, peace or freedom?”  </p><p> </p><p><strong>4.01*</strong> - Sam hugging Dean.  Reunions and a classic spn brohug (though… why this one?  Of all the hugs to grab, this is not the most photogenic.  It is a “I thought you were dead and I tried everything I could to get you back omg you’re here” moment.  It’s also one filled with questions and wondering about the supernatural messing with their lives.)</p><p>Yes, I’m inherently suspicious about why they picked so many shots from this scene and this episode.  For obvious reasons.  <strong>*</strong> <strong> <em>Honk*</em> </strong></p><p> </p><p><strong>6.15 (Edlund and Beeson)</strong> - Sam and Dean just landed in the French Mistake universe on the set of Supernatural.  The story has entered the story, fourth wall be damned.  Meta episode, but also “here, we matter.”  Their lives as hunters have an impact on the real world, they’re the people that SAVE the world.  Heroes.  Narratively, once again they’re asked the question of if they’d trade peace for family?  And we have characters (Castiel as precursor to Godstiel) using a meta narrative to distract you from what the characters are really up to :D</p><p> </p><p><strong>6.18 (Loflin &amp; Dabb and Bee)</strong> - Sam in the cowboy hat nodding - previous line “this here’s walker, he’s a texas ranger”.  The episode question is in Sam’s conversation with Samuel Colt -- “I’m not asking you to fight, I’m asking you to play your part.”  </p><p>“There’s no such thing as retired for a hunter.” </p><p>“I’ve given my whole life to this.  I’m done.”  </p><p>“So it doesn’t matter what happens.  Everything you did, it all means nothing?”</p><p>And then back to a meta narrative, the reality of the thing is less romantic than the fantasy and the story that was told.  </p><p> </p><p><strong>7.08* (Lofflin &amp; Dabb and Andrew)</strong> - Becky in her wedding dress right after Sam takes the veil off.  The character is the fandom stand-in and not a complimentary one for the vast majority of her existence.  This is the way she *used* to be at her most toxic.  And again, I’m asking “why this episode for this character?”  Because visually, it’s a happily ever after, it’s a wedding with a smile and on a surface level sure that’s all that’s going to process as we’re flipping through the montage.  But it’s someone trying to insert themself into the story in a way that is… not good.  “They’re my favorites” in exactly the same way that Chuck went in s15.  She’s lying, and using something supernatural to utterly destroy Sam’s sense of reality.  The episode calls back to the question of “what is happiness” though, and Sam and Dean have a conversation about whether or not they can live and function separate from one another.  </p><p> </p><p><strong>9.13 (Charmelo &amp; Snyder and Sgriccia)</strong> - Donna eating a donut and looking thoughtful.  Donna’s context in the episode - her husband left her because she wasn’t perfect.  She’s in a state of mourning in a way, because she just got out of an abusive relationship but she hasn’t found her feet quite yet.  Donna character - it’s possible to be a hunter and still be gentle and kind, your appearances don’t define who you actually are.</p><p>Episode broment is: </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>DEAN [shocked] You kidding me? You and me -- fighting the good fight together.</p>
  <p>SAM [sighing in frustration almost leaves but then decides to explain. He come into the kitchen and sits down across from DEAN, who draws back unconsciously]  Okay. Just once, be honest with me. You didn't save me for me. You did it for you.</p>
  <p>DEAN [totally confused] What are you talkin' about?</p>
  <p>SAM I was ready to die. I was ready. I should have died, but you... You didn't want to be alone, and that's what all this boils down to. You can't stand the thought of being alone.</p>
  <p>DEAN [drawing back and standing up] All right.</p>
  <p>SAM I'll give you this much. You are certainly willing to do the sacrificing as long as you're not the one being hurt.</p>
  <p>DEAN All right, you want to be honest? If the situation were reversed and I was dying, you'd do the same thing.</p>
  <p>SAM [very softly] No, Dean. I wouldn't. [He looks up and meets DEAN's shocked eyes.]  Same circumstances...I wouldn't. I'm gonna get to bed. </p>
</blockquote><p>So looking at family, the choices family make, the problems with codependency and self sacrifice, and whether or not you can move on from something.  </p><p> </p><p><strong>2.03</strong> - the pretty shot of Dean leaning against the impala with the light halo behind him.  This is after a conversation with Sam about the hunt - Gordon was running on black and white morality and it was wrong, so what does that say about John?  It’s challenging Dean’s sense of what is normal and right a lot.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>DEAN: I wish we never took this job. It's jacked everything up.</p>
  <p>SAM: What do you mean?</p>
  <p>DEAN: Think about all the hunts we went on, Sammy, our whole lives.</p>
  <p>SAM: Okay.</p>
  <p>DEAN: What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing? You know? I mean, the way Dad raised us...</p>
  <p>SAM: Dean, after what happened to Mom, Dad did the best he could.</p>
  <p>DEAN: I know he did. But the man wasn't perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things; and man, I hate 'em. I do. When I killed that vampire at the mill I didn't even think about it; hell, I even enjoyed it.</p>
  <p>SAM: You didn't kill Lenore.</p>
  <p>DEAN:  No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill 'em all.</p>
  <p>SAM: Yeah, Dean, but you didn't. And that's what matters.</p>
  <p>DEAN: Yeah. Well, 'cause you're a pain in my ass.</p>
  <p>SAM: Guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass, then.</p>
  <p>DEAN: Thanks.</p>
  <p>SAM: Don't mention it.</p>
</blockquote><p>This episode is again a lot of hiding and repressing what you're going through.  Mourning the loss of family, losing people can distort you but family keeps you human.  Visually though, this shot lines up with "running into the sun", which ties into the next shot.</p><p> </p><p><strong>7.20* (Thompson and MacCarthy)</strong> - Charlie in the elevator dancing to “Walking on Sunshine”.  Charlie - in the episode, joy and happiness and there’s something special about certain humans, a spark.  Charlie is also immediately adopted family, “the little sister I never wanted”.</p><p> </p><p><strong>7.21 (Edlund and himself)</strong> - Kevin getting zapped so he becomes a prophet. The character is adopted family but in a negative way, “I trust you and I always seem to get screwed.”  Am I family or am I here because I’m useful?  The episode has - playing a game of sorry, Dean wiping the pieces off of the board because he’s done with games, creatures following programming and a script, the word of god, and “always happy to bleed for the winchesters”</p><p> </p><p><strong>7.21</strong> - Kevin’s eyes glowing yellow, with tablet symbol overlays.  He’s receiving prophetic instruction.  He got sucked into the story and it derailed his life and normal is gone until he can finish the “quest”.  The supernatural is forcing his hand and railroading him into the story.</p><p> </p><p><strong>8.12 (Glass and Ladouceur)</strong> - Abaddon in her 1950s dress and updo walking out of the closet.  Character - I want it all, lover.  Destruction, a return to the old glory days, who cares about your new shiny rules when there’s murder to be had.  The episode in question though - a family member sacrificing themself (again) so that someone else can make the killing blow, and the consequences of having to leave that trauma in the timeline.  Would it have made any difference, if we’d changed the story?  Old ways vs new ways, and a new future.</p><p> </p><p><strong>8.13 (Edlund and Sgriccia)</strong> - Sam and Dean the first time they see the Bunker Library - “Sammy, I think we found the batcave” while “Get thee behind me satan” plays.  As a location, the bunker is home and going deeper into the world and lore, and finding a synthesis between what they started out with (a car, no stability, just each other the impala and the road) and what they used to want (an actual home, normal).  The episode is legacies again, and while the future is different than where we used to be you should still honor the past.</p><p> </p><p><strong>8.13</strong> - Sam and Dean in the bunker library, Sam is reading a book and Dean is putting his feet up on the table while drinking whiskey.  This is the end of the episode, and they just talked about new roles.  Sam becoming a Man of Letters.  Honor the past, and maybe we got a break for once.</p><p> </p><p><strong>4.01</strong> - Ruby opening the motel room door - “So where is it?  The pizza... that takes two guys to deliver?”  I’m going to be honest here, I can’t get the clown nose off of my face for this one.  There’s no good reason to pick this shot of Gen, other than it’s her first appearance on the show and the damn pizza line.  It’s a throwback to “classic spn” but it’s not a defining character moment or a particularly beautiful shot.  And it’s this episode *again*.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Section two is a bit of “here’s what we turned into”.  To paraphrase Chuck, the Winchesters have faced off against angels, demons, God and the devil, Death himself.  We made friends and family along the way.</p>
  <p>The episodes here are mostly mid-spn, lots of s4 and s5 without grabbing huge pieces of the mytharcs and then bouncing into the French Mistake and later seasons.  It skirts over how the show grew, going from classic spn to becoming this larger narrative about big things.  It’s also got Chuck - the story is officially *a story*.  This is where “tearing up the script” starts coming into play -- free will vs the narrative, author vs creation, and then “we’re a story inside of a story.”  And again, the supernatural messing with free will and your sense of what is and what isn’t going on.  Our big villain (very randomly appearing) in this section is someone who wants the old ways of chaos and destruction and stabbing things randomly to come back, doesn’t like the new order and the new rules.</p>
  <p>The characters are also looking at what they’re willing to sacrifice, what happiness looks like, can they be happy apart from one another.  Is it worth changing the past, giving up who we’ve become, would it have been worth it to go a different direction?</p>
  <p>We’re introduced to new family members and a new home, we reach a sort of synthesis.  Harmony with the old and the new, balance between who we used to be and who we’ve become.</p>
  <p>The lyrics cover a sense of “how did I get here” and add in a layer of “hey go look at the meta” - “Running into the sun”, Dean in the sunshine cuts to Charlie dancing to “walking on sunshine”.  You have to remember the setting and the symbolism for her to make any sense as a choice there.</p>
</blockquote><p> </p>
<hr/><p>[Present day] car shot</p><p> </p><p><strong>14.08* (Glynn and Sanchez)</strong> - Kelly and Jack in heaven, she’s touching his face and smiling.  Right after this is  “Why are you…” and then her face falls when she realizes that Jack is dead.  She was happy with her choice because it saved her family, but it didn’t save him after all.  The episode is dealing with choices, people choose their own fates as to heaven or hell, should Jack stay in heaven or return to earth and his family, and Castiel choosing to sacrifice himself to save Jack; sacrificing happiness to save someone you love.  Can you move on from this kind of loss?</p><p> </p><p><strong>14.16* (Perez &amp; Vaught and Fitzpatrick)</strong> - Jack standing on the sidewalk outside of the local store, waving with a small smile.  Aka the episode where Jack made friends and stabbed someone.  There are consequences to your actions, and you can’t brush away the trauma that others experience.  People deserve the truth, but we lie to make them happy and to protect them.</p><p>It also drives to the forefront that if you’re missing your humanity (love) then you’re going to make the wrong choices.  Love is central.  </p><p> </p><p><strong>14.07* (Bucklemming and Showalter)</strong> - Dean and Jack out for a drive when Jack was dying.  Make it the best day possible.  “It’s like I’m you!” (“Everyone assumed I would be this special “person” who goes on forever.  I’m done being special.  Before my life is over, I want to live it.” And Jack chooses being with family (Dean) over the expected Vegas and sex.  “The stuff I’d miss — it wouldn’t be things like Tahiti.  I’d miss more time with you.  I’m getting that life isn’t all these big, amazing moments.  It’s time together that matters.  Like this.”  I’ve had a good life. </p><p>Synthetic happiness in the face of impending loss, making the most out of what you’ve got, and how critical family is to joy.</p><p> </p><p>(The song lyrics here go to how crazy this life feels, and they definitely picked episodes that match that.)</p><p><strong>5.08* (Carver and Beeson</strong>) - tandem bike (together we’ll face the day in the “theme song”) Episode - play your role, see the story through to the ending so the constant struggle ends.  “From the moment Dad flipped the lights on around here, we knew it was all going to end with you.  Always.”  Also a meta episode - Dean says he wishes at the end that this were a tv show, because those have last minute “save the day” options.  Their lives are a lot darker and a lot less hopeful.  This is reality distortion in technicolor.</p><p> </p><p><strong>5.08*</strong> - nutcracker for Sam.  He couldn’t answer the question in a rigged game and got punished for it.  Again, the episode is meta, “we play our roles we survive” “okay but for how long?”</p><p>And Castiel isn’t in the script - God’s stand-in doesn’t like the prettyboy angel interrupting.</p><p> </p><p><strong>11.08* (Klein and Speight)</strong> - Sully jumping out from behind of Sam in the bunker kitchen shouting, “surprise” after making Sam breakfast.  The episode is another… do you want to be a hunter, childhood fantasy vs the reality of hunting life.  “Do you think about running away?”  “Not anymore.”  Sully as a character is supportive; he gives Sam a choice and lets him decide if he wants to hunt or if he wants to go to school.  He’s protective and willing to give up his own happiness on the off chance that it’ll make the kids’ lives better.</p><p> </p><p><strong>13.16* (Kreig &amp; Adams and Singer &amp; Brandt)</strong> - Dean and Daphne in the middle of the scooby dooby doo sequence -- Dean is attempting to kiss her before she screams about the ghost.  The episode is about childhood innocence vs the hunting life and how brutal their reality is.  Sometimes it’s better to leave the illusion in place, but not all kids get that opportunity (the kid here, Jack, Dean).  Also disguises and things looking like other things.</p><p> </p><p><strong>9.04* (Tompson and Singer)</strong> - Dorothy and Charlie going into Oz through the garage doors, Charlie turning to smile at the boys.  This episode is the one where the boys find out that the supernatural books are on the internet, and Dorothy is another mirror of “yeah the books are nothing like my life”.  Revisionist history by a father figure, fantasy vs reality, this life is brutal -- but where’s my quest?</p><p> </p><p><strong>6.09 (Edlund and Showalter)</strong> - Dean getting headbutted by the fairy (“Nipples?”).  Dean is fighting something nobody else can see.  The episode question for Sam and Dean is what’s missing?  How do you function without your humanity, without your soul?  When you’re making decisions based on cold logic you miss the point.</p><p> </p><p>(The lyrics move to friends (which…) Visually we now start a chain of smiles.)</p><p><strong>4.01*</strong> - Bobby and then Pamela opening the door with a massive grin (reunions of old friends).  A few people on tumblr have pointed out that the last time we saw Pamela was in a fantasy, the supernatural messing with a protagonists head, and prior to that we saw her in 5.16 (an episode Dabb uses a lot) telling Dean giving up and following the script wouldn't be that bad.</p><p> </p><p><strong>2.02* (Shiban and Sgriccia)</strong> - Ellen putting down the gun and giving a big smile once she realizes who Sam and Dean are.  Almost family, used to be family, found family all one one bundle.  The episode itself has our beloved scene of Dean beating the shit out of the impala.  Grief and not dealing with it, facing things you don’t want to.</p><p> </p><p><strong>4.18*</strong> - Cas and Dean look at each other, Cas gives a small smile.  The characters were just discussing why Chuck is the prophet, how the mechanics of the universe work, and Cas admitting there are things he doesn’t know.  Again, meta episode - the writer is here and fucking with you, this is a story inside of a story.</p><p> </p><p><strong>5.15* (Carver and Showalter)</strong> - Jody with a “uh huh sure ya are” face - Sam “we’re just asking a few questions sheriff”.  This is the episode where everyone’s loved ones come back, but because it’s the supernatural doing it there are consequences that accompany it.  False happiness, happiness that gets stolen away because this ain’t no damn fairytale.  Having to let them die, even though they can’t be saved, is heartbreaking and twelve levels of trauma.  And Bobby in his chair, “She’s the love of my life, how many times do I have to watch her die?”</p><p>(Yeah.  How many times, guys?  *honks sadly*)</p><p>Jody as a character is the epitome of found family, she keeps adopting kids (and the Winchesters) and going "mine now."</p><p> </p><p><strong>6.04* (Dabb &amp; Loflin and Ackles)</strong> - Rufus burying a body in Bobby’s backyard, with a smile on his face.  “I’m not asking for help” “I’m not asking for permission”.  Asking for help is hard for crotchety hunters, and sometimes the boys get so wrapped up in each other that they forget the people around them can be hurting.  And some friendships are deeper than all the shit you put them through.  Found family.</p><p> </p><p><strong>9.12* (Glass and Showalter)</strong> - Garth smiling at Bess.  They’re sitting on the couch explaining their history to the boys, and Garth says “she saved me.”  He was going to kill himself and she walked in and changed everything.  “I found a family, who cares where that came from?”  (The answer being Dean, because he doesn’t trust that nice things can happen, cause usually they don’t.)  Garth as a character is again a) found family and b) someone sweet and loyal.  He’s a hunter because it’s the right thing and he manages to keep things balanced.</p><p> </p><p><strong>1.09 (Kripke and Griotti)</strong> - Missouri giving Dean a look - “you’re supposed to be a psychic right?” “Boy… You think I’m a magician?  I can’t pull facts out of thin air”.  The episode is all family secrets and sacrifices, get away from my boys/get out of my house.  Missouri is a *reader*, as compared to all of our narrative writers - she looks at what’s there and empathizes with the characters, even if she isn’t always telling the whole truth. </p><p> </p><p><strong>13.21 (Berens and Sgriccia)</strong> - Gabriel and Rowena looking at each other in the Bunker Library before hooking up.  So much innuendo.  This is a classic example of spn’s traditional “hey look at how hilarious we are -- oh no your favorite died, don’t trust comedy folks”.  More accurately though (IMO) is that Rowena and Gabriel use the “bro hugs, pep talks, and melodrama” as an excuse to have fun -- these characters know how the plot and story structure work.  They’re going to take pleasure and fun where they have opportunity to do so.</p><p>The episode as a whole is also journeying into darkness to find your family and bring them home, sometimes you face losses, how much grief steals away, and sometimes people come back.</p><p> </p><p><strong>15.06* (Glynn and Showalter)</strong> - Eileen, freshly reincorporated, smiling at Sam.  “Thank you”.  Saving someone and bringing them back, going from hopeless to hope.  Could we be happy?  You miss her.  Also one vicious circle joke.</p><p> </p><p><strong>2.02*</strong> - Dean sitting at the bar while Jo leans back and smiles at him.  This one isn’t actually that happy either, it’s Jo smiling after Dean turns her down.  “Normally I’d be hitting on you so fast your head would spin, but these days…” “wrong place, wrong time.  It’s okay, I get it.”  Grief and what it does to you, and a dangling thread of “maybe” and missed opportunities because the stars just didn’t align.  I’ve written in other places, Jo is a symbol of hope and potential, she’s found family, and she’s also a missed love that Dean blames himself for and puts himself on *trial* for.  He judges himself as guilty because he couldn’t save her, and that means he deserves to die.</p><p> </p><p><strong>14.11 (Perez and Sgriccia)</strong> - Mary smiling.  She’s having dinner with Dean, they’re talking about family and the things she missed and this is in the middle of Dean reassuring her -- “just knowing that you’re around, that you’re alive, it’s meant everything to me.  And it’s meant everything to Sam.  And how great is this, you and me, sitting here eating the real thing not some baloney version of winchester surprise.  Not fighting any monsters, no clouds on the horizon.”  This is all Dean saying goodbye, it’s bittersweet and “let me have this one moment of happiness before I go.  I can’t even say it, just let me be here.”  </p><p>There’s also a commentary in there about fantasy vs reality - look at 2.20 earlier and all the other fantasy vs reality threads, this isn’t nice and neat and tied up in a bow, it’s real life and a complicated relationship and it was a surprise but Dean’s not going to let go of it because it’s *real*.</p><p>Nick’s counterpart storyline to this episode is “why me”, why am I the one whose life was derailed, why did I have to lose everything?</p><p>Mary as a character is… going to be hard to summarize in a quick block.  She’s the person Dean wanted most to come back (see 2.20), she’s the great “what if” of their lives.  She’s the first person Dean’s said I love you to even in a family definition.  She *is* family.</p><p> </p><p><strong>11.09 (Bucklemming and Singer)</strong> - Amara with her hand raised, palm upward like an inverted puppetmaster.  She’s using her powers to force an angel to kill himself.  This is just past Amara kissing Dean instead of eating his soul.  The angel’s just said “we’re at the point where sacrifice is inevitable”, and Amara was just telling Dean ‘It’s pointless to resist, we’re bound together’.  The episode itself is… filled with stories vs reality - all the stories about God, about Amara, about Heaven and the Archangels and how the world works, none of it is the truth and who even knows what is really real anymore?</p><p>As a character, Amara wants her brother back.  She <em> is </em> void (Word and Void), and she’s reacting heavily to the fact that she’s on her own and abandoned in this scene.</p><p> </p><p><strong>12.07 (Berens and Sanchez)</strong> - Vincifer, hand outstretched and fingers curving closed.  He’s using his powers to close the door to lock his victims in.  Dean just fired a gun to get people out.  Lucifer is having a breakdown because nothing means anything, Chuck is a dick and never cared, and Lucifer has no idea what to do now that the author doesn’t need him anymore.  He has no idea what to do when he’s been left behind.</p><p> </p><p><strong>12.21 (Bucklemming and Pesce)</strong> - Lucifer glowing the afterimage of wings on the wall behind him, prepping to kill Crowley.  “You had to know this was inevitable”.  This episode is about classic spn hell as defined by season 3 - losing who you are, isolation, being trapped.  Lucifer is triumphant but literally everyone else in the episode loses.  Loss of family, loss of loved ones or potential loves.</p><p> </p><p><strong>8.23* (Carver and Sgriccia)</strong> - Metatron smiling at Cas in the torture chair.  “And now something wonderful is going to happen, for me and for you. I want you to live this new life to the fullest. Find a wife. Make babies. And when you die and your soul comes to Heaven, find me. Tell me your story.”  This is a meta character, a storyteller and Chuck stand in, offering a false happiness.  He’s stepping into a narrative gap because God is gone, so someone needs to fill that role.</p><p>You’re out of the story now, you can have a “normal” life and you don’t have a choice.  Episode… “I have to put this right”, don’t think that there’s anything I’d put in front of you, sacrificing/reacting to the things around you out of pain is bad.</p><p> </p><p><strong>12.08* (Bucklemming and Sgriccia)</strong> - Ketch smiling while the FBI fan burns behind him.  He just called tfw dogs, and then says “where are my manners?”  The character is a dark Dean mirror, someone who worked very hard at repressing feelings because hurting the people you cared about was required.  There were deliberate callbacks to demon!dean and Alastair/hell when Ketch was introduced -- he’s a sociopath.  He eventually becomes an ally and views the Winchesters as friends.  He’s also a story/meta character in 12x12.  “Tell me your story” instead of “Let me tell you my story”, putting Mary/the Winchesters in the controlling seat, but that episode was something he set up and rigged by *not* telling the whole story.</p><p> </p><p><strong>13.13* (Bucklemming and Sánchez)</strong> - Sister Jo smiling after healing a burn victim.  The character is a con artist, but her through lines are about happiness - I felt bored before and like my life was pointless.  I don’t need God or Heaven, but I *want* love, a family, and to belong.</p>
<hr/>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p> </p>
  <p>This section goes over a lot of *characters*.  And an absurd amount of smiling.  This is a happy show guys!</p>
  <p>Our threads are family, friends, and meta narratives - 5.08 crops up twice and boy oh boy, pay attention there, cause we’ve got Chuck, Metatron, and a few other story threads.  The author is present in the story and is fucking with you.  The drive of Changing Channels is that life isn’t a tv show, we don’t get the quick fix and the happy ending.  Fantasy vs reality, hunting is brutal.  And “is this the life you want?” crops up again.</p>
  <p>We spin down into our character list - family, friends, found family, weird bonds (Amara) and potential love interests (Jo), antagonists and villains.  The second half of our list is characters who are missing something - Amara missing her brother, Lucifer feeling empty and pointless without the narrative, metatron missing God and stepping into the role, Ketch talks about the process of cutting out caring from your life.  We end on a character who says they’re okay with where they are, but they *want* to have a family.  To experience love.</p>
  <p>This is the balance; family and sacrifice and what your life looks without that anchoring point.</p>
  <p> </p>
</blockquote><hr/><p> </p><p>[present day] car shot</p><p> </p><p><strong>14.13 (Dabb &amp; Glynn and Singer)</strong> - Sam Dean Mary and John having dinner in the bunker, toasting each other.  The context is John saying we can be sad or we can be grateful for the time we have together.  The episode is… John saying ‘I never meant for this.  My fight was supposed to end with me.  You were supposed to have your own life.’  “A normal life, a peaceful life, a family.”  And Dean says “I have a family”</p><p>Sam and Dean in the kitchen, “It doesn’t feel fair to get all this and have to throw it away.” “You saying you wish it could be different?” (*flings hands upward at 2.20 and 14.11*) “Don’t you?” Dean says he was angry about their lives for the longest time, “But if you take away the pain, who does that make us?  I like who we are, our lives are *ours*.”</p><p> </p><p>That right there is a huge question thread in the previous episodes listed - who are we without what we’ve lived through, would you walk away from the present for the fantasy and illusion of that perfect life.  Finally the answer is no.  We can start to move on to being happy *now*.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>[Present day] car shot</p><p> </p><p><strong>12.11*</strong> - Dean riding Larry.  The lyrics are back to “running into the sun”, which if we go with Charlie gives this scene a connotation of happiness and if we go with Dean standing by the impala in 2.03 gives a connotation of running away from something.  The episode is “I wouldn’t take this happiness because taking away the pain takes away who we are”.  This is from the montage section, so a) an event that happened that we found out about later, and b) dream on little broomstick cowboy - enjoy the innocence while it lasts, cause growing up shatters that.</p><p> </p><p><strong>13.06 (Perez and Lopez-Corrado)</strong> - Dean and Cas in the cowboy hats walking down the road.  The lyrics are still carrying over sunshine and the sun is very bright out.  “I’m your huckleberry”, Cas being very bad at *gestures* everything in that interview but Dean being delighted to have him back.  Sunshine as happiness.  The episode is full of reunions, and not wanting to lose what you have even if you do stupid things to keep it.  Also Dean’s sheer unmitigated joy in all things old west, which has grown and matured - he’s okay with the reality of it now instead of just knowing the fantasy story version.</p><p> </p><p><strong>13.13</strong> - Asmodeus and the Arch Angel blade.  He’s showing off something beautiful, but you need the right people not just the right weapons.  Asmodeus as a character is another Lucifer mirror and a damn monologuer.  He’s trying to gain father’s approval and trying to move past him at the same time.  Addiction to power.  He is also Gabriel’s dark mirror, a shapeshifter that uses his powers to confuse and distort reality.</p><p>This is the episode where we discover Gabriel (a proto-storyteller) isn’t dead.</p><p> </p><p><strong>10.05 (Thomson and Sgriccia)</strong> - the curtains close on “Sam” and “Dean” for a Very Supernatural Musical Intermission.  We’ve reached the end of act one.  Time to “take a bow, Sammy”.  This is just after the A Single Man Tear song - character hiding behind a mask, show nothing.  But the sequence is also “we’re through the looking glass here people.”  The story and the “story” have collided, and there’s new writers.</p><p>“Supernatural has everything - life, death, resurrection, redemption, family, it isn’t some meandering piece of genre drek it’s… epic.”  This is the part where I start yelling loudly, because this montage so far?  Has resurrection and family but it’s kinda light on everything else.  WHERE’S THE BEEF.</p><p>We’re also, very importantly, at the end of act 1.  The writer stopped here, and yes he tried picking up the threads by self publishing but the audience doesn’t care.  They started telling their own stories.  (Oh and what was that line about act 2…)</p><p> </p><p>(lyrics - Honey you were the champion) </p><p><strong>14.06 (Yockey and Speight)</strong> - Dean with pie in a diner -- “eat up, pie’s important”.  Pie meta here (happiness, the life you want, sure I’m missing something.)  The episode also covers forgiving yourself for mistakes you’ve made, and the question of whether or not the characters should stay in the hunting life or move on.</p><p> </p><p><strong>10.13* (Charmelo &amp; Snyder and Showalter)</strong> - Dean eating noodles and grimace-smiling - Sam has just told him that “nothing ever really gets deleted from the internet.  You knew that, right?”  The brother moment in this episode was about peace - what does your peace look like, choose that.  “My peace is helping people and working cases” - which is Dean turning down help for what he’s going through.  Hunting is how he copes.</p><p> </p><p><strong>15.10* (Dabb and Showalter)</strong> - Dean with a mouthful of sandwich grinning about getting to use the grenade launcher.  So uh… grenade baiting, promising something to the audience/the character for years and then finally letting them have it.</p><p>Also Dean dancing with a lamp, and looking at a happy family and going “I wish.”</p><p>However, the episode as a whole - this is our meta narrative back with a vengeance.  We are characters in a story, our lives are a tv show and entertainment, and reality *is not like that*.  Dean finally stands up and says, the story doesn’t matter.  The super powers of the narrative don’t matter - we matter.  We lived through this stuff, we’re real, the blood the sweat the tears <em> that’s us. </em> What we lived through made us into who we are and we’re okay with that.</p><p>The narrative does not define us.</p><p> </p><p><strong>6.10 (Matthews &amp; Klein and Singer)</strong> - Meg turning to look at Soulless.  For all her torture and schemes, she is powerless in this instance because she needs them to get what she wants (Crowley).  The episode also goes into making deals to bring back loved ones (Mary) is bad, sacrificing part of your family for the one you love better is Bad.  </p><p>Also the pizza man quote is in here.  </p><p>Meg as a character is a mixture - dark Dean mirror who eventually sacrificed herself to save someone she cared about.  “Save my unicorn” - sometimes, there’s someone worth changing for.  </p><p> </p><p><strong>4.12 (Siege and Singer)</strong> - Sam and Dean talking in a dark room with red decorations.  Sam just had a convo with Ruby about blood drinking, Dean was just at the bdsm club.  They go talk to some old cons and hey, it’s a brother act.  </p><p>The brother moment of this episode is “Our life ends bloody or sad - I don’t want to be hunting monsters when I’m an old man.”  </p><p> </p><p><strong>10.16 (Bucklemming and Showalter)</strong> - Crowley going “huh”.  Just came from a conversation with Rowena about family obligations, blood vs found family.  “Without me you wouldn’t exist” - but this is a toxic relationship.  Creating something doesn’t give you the right to it once it’s taken on a life of its own, and this is Crowley chewing on that.  By the end of the episode he’ll have it and push back.</p><p>Also:</p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Dean: The life I live, the work I do I pretty much just figured that's all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later I'd go out the same way I lived, pedal to the metal and that would be it.</p>
  <p>Father Delaney: And now?</p>
  <p>Dean: Now. Recent events made me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And I don't know; there's things, there's people, feelings that I-I want to experience differently than I did before, or maybe even the first time.</p>
  <p> </p>
</blockquote><p><strong>14.17 (Glynn and Showalter)</strong> - Dean playing with the mouse trap game (… dean can’t kick the bucket.  God I forget how this show is sometimes.)  This is a family centric episode, but also the game is rigged and the trap is about to spring.</p><p> </p><p><strong>13.05 (Yockey and Showalter)</strong> - Sam and Dean getting out of the impala.  The conversation in the bunker just previous was “when’s the last time we worked a case, just you and me?”  Sam is trying so hard to pull Dean out of his grief spiral, going back to the classic spn “just us” and pandering to all of Dean’s favorites and it’s just… not enough.  Dean is ready to die, because he’s lost people and it seems like nothing matters.  “I don’t matter.  I can’t save anyone.”  “I need a damn win.”</p><p>And he’s not allowed to because the story isn’t over yet.  “You wanna die?  I say live.”  </p><p>(This TOTALLY ISN’T RELATED TO THE PREVIOUS CLIP/EPISODE REFERENCE.  NOPE.  It's not like Dean goes into a grief spiral when he loses people, he only did it for John and Sam and Cas and Kevin and Charlie and Cas and Mary and Jack and... you get it)  Doing good in this world, hunting, saving people, it isn’t enough without the people you care about.  It’s empty and it’ll break you.</p><p> </p><p><strong>14.15 (Fitzmartin &amp; Yockey and Sgriccia)</strong> - Justin!Sam doing a “ah I see” face.  Cas just challenged him, “who does she think you are?  This is not your house.”  He goes “I see.  You’re right.  This is my wife’s house, I am simply living here.”  Being told he isn’t who the illusion says he is gets deflected, he’s buried in the false happiness.</p><p>Trying to force things to be the old way, the way they were, isn’t good.  It doesn’t provide actual happiness.  When these characters are faced with loss, they get angry and they have to deal with it, and Sam isn’t okay.  Sam was running away from pain because they lost people.  “I was happy but it wasn’t real, you know?”  I need time to adjust to being back in the bunker.</p><p> </p><p><strong>14.15</strong> - Cas turning away from the house and going “double hockey sticks????”  He’s been kicked out for speaking the truth and trying to drag Sam out of the fantasy, because he said something that broke the rules (I’ve got flashforwards to Mrs. Butters and Language)</p><p> </p><p><strong>12.16 (Glynn and Kaderali)</strong> - Mick outside of the hotel (small smile?).  “I’ve had better night’s sleep in my baby”, and Mick does an “ah…”.  Because once again, Dean is lying about not liking nice things.  The episode is about choices, second chances, making your own way.  “My life, I get all the votes.”</p><p>Mick is a small storyteller - it’s how he recruits Mary, it’s how he attempts to seduce Sam to the dark side, but at the end of the day he is also an embodiment of story vs reality.  He knows how things work but he can't get his hands dirty very well, he’s not equipped for a battle.  He gets other people to do things.</p><p> </p><p><strong>14.04 (Perez and Kaderali)</strong> - Dean geeking out over the monster display after he hits the button - “time to slice and dice.  We all do bad things sometimes.  Trick or treat.” This is a meta episode, tv shows/movies and stories come to life.  Horror movies were a comfort for smol!Dean because they were predictable.  The bad guy would lose and Dean could check out from his reality.  This episode is all about escapism -- the hunt itself is a chance for Dean to escape his present reality.  But he still blames himself, and he’s not going to be able to move past the trauma just like that.</p><p> </p><p><strong>15.03* (Berens and Beeson)</strong> - Belphegor smiling in hell - “you’ve been playing us all along” “couldn’ta done it without you”.  He’s going to take over Hell, and he’s been playing them the entire time.  He’s a Chuck wannabe and Godstiel callback.  The episode is sacrifices, saying goodbye is agonizing; will you let the world burn to keep me alive?  And then the gut punch of Dean not being able to trust that Cas is real, that anything is real, blaming Cas for Mary’s death, and Cas deciding “It’s time for me to move on.”</p><p> </p><p><strong>9.13</strong> - Dean’s cut of the donut scene (see above, walking out of abusive situations, being good enough as you are)</p><p>(A note dear reader - when I started doing identifications and breakdowns for obvious reasons I did the shots that came from the same episode together.  When I wrote the line above, I was calling back to the previous analysis of 9x13.  And then I finished writing up 15.03 and promptly lost my shit because those dovetail a little too well into one another if you're looking at s15's emotional beats.  I am well and truly struggling to believe, at this point, that someone didn’t put a lot of thought into this.) </p><p> </p><p><strong>12.22* (Berens and Showalter)</strong> -  Sam, Dean and Mary hugging in the bunker library.  It’s the last shot, after Dean’s finally spoken his hidden truth (I had to be a mother and a father to him.  I hate you.  And I love you.  I can’t help it.) and Mary answers with hers (“what if Sam hates me?”).  </p><p>The answer?  “You don’t have to be scared of me.”</p><p>Forgiveness is offered freely, because of course I forgive you.  You’re family.</p><p>This is the end of grenadebaiting (the potential is no longer on the wall it’s in the story and in use), Sam takes charge of the hunters and the leadership role that’s been dangling in front of him since season 2, and we get another repetition of the fact that “We save the world.”  We’re good with what our lives are.  We just want you (family, loved one) in it.</p><p>(You can hear the distant sound of me screeching and pointing at 15.09 right?)</p><p> </p><p><strong>13.09 (Berens and Sgriccia)</strong> - Kaia screaming with golden veins crawling down her face, cut to golden light flaring out from the boat - opening a door into a different world.  Rescue missions, crossing boundaries to get back the people who are missing in our life.  We’ll do whatever it takes.</p><p>Kaia as a character is… the lost and forgotten, nobody’s coming to save me because nobody cares.  She has a power she hates, but she’s willing to put herself in danger to help because Jack showed her a chance for a better world.  Which morphs into meeting Claire, and “I could go with you”.</p><p>This episode is also the first half of “what the future looks like”.  Hunting with family, with full support, with people who love you and are in the life.</p><p> </p><p><strong>13.10* (Berens &amp; Dabb and Sgriccia)</strong> - the defining shot for wayward sisters - Claire, Kaia, Patience, Alex, and the flamethrower.  “I called, you didn’t answer.  We worried.”  Going after someone who’s missing, saving people who went through a rift to another world, one of the deeper forms of found family on this show.  And loss - I just found you, I just found love, and then it gets taken away and locked on the other side of a portal to another world.</p><p>Yes, the clown nose is welded in place, no there’s nothing I can do about that.</p><p> </p><p><strong>11.14 (Berens and Badham)</strong> - Dean in the sailor outfit making his way ‘sneakily’ through the sub.  And yes, this is once again Dean in a funny outfit, but why this shot and why this outfit?  The line immediately previous is Sam saying “don’t worry we’ll bring him back” to Cas(ifer).  Because Dean just went somewhere that Cas(ifer) can’t follow.</p><p>The episode ends up focusing on sacrifice - Cas put himself up to be Lucifer’s vessel because he thought that was the only way to win.  He wanted to be useful.  The people on the submarine sacrifice themselves to take out the Thule ship.</p><p>Allow me to just scream into the void about the brother moment of this episode: </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>SAM  So.</p>
  <p>DEAN  So. Cas.</p>
  <p>SAM  Yeah. What do we do?</p>
  <p>DEAN  What else? We hunt Lucifer, trap the bastard, and save Cas.</p>
  <p>SAM  Like I said. Lucifer may be in control now, but Cas may not come back willingly. I mean he chose it.</p>
  <p>DEAN  No. No, not possible.</p>
  <p>SAM  So how'd you get through today? I mean what did you do?</p>
  <p>DEAN  Nothing. Sam, they…</p>
  <p>[DEAN stares out over the water as he shakes his head. He looks close to tears.]</p>
  <p>DEAN  I was just a witness.</p>
  <p>SAM  Do you wanna talk about it?</p>
  <p>DEAN  No. No, story for another day.</p>
</blockquote><p>Am I mentally living inside of 15.18 right now, yes, yes I am, please join me.  The narrative gaps make a lovely echoing sound if you yell.  </p><p> </p><p><strong>15.11 (Glynn &amp; Perez and Beeson)</strong> - Impala car shot, driving through leaves at night.  Sam is texting Eileen.  This is the other side of the meta episode (15.10), where the heroes retake control of the narrative and their identity.  Don’t play his game, make him play yours.</p><p>They’re heroes, after all.</p><p> </p><p><strong>5.08</strong> - Sam grimacing at the camera, about to say “I have genital herpes”.  Again, our lives are(n’t) a tv show, and being forced into these roles is humiliating and degrading and *not who we are*.</p><p> </p><p><strong>15.10*</strong> - Sam grimace-smiling with a glass in his hand - Bess’ father’s secret cure all, and he doesn’t get to know what’s in it because “what part of secret don’t you understand?”  The supernatural is fucking with you.</p><p>What makes a hero, what is us in this story, and again - family and looking at the concept of having one and *pining* for the possibility.</p><p> </p><p><strong>15.10</strong> - Sam and Dean after losing the fight and having Garth save them, Dean walking a bit funny.  “Is my voice that higher?”  Probably in here for a “lol look at this hilarious show you love!” except, again, meta episode, our lives are a story, and even though they took a hit they won.</p><p> </p><p><strong>14.09 (Berens and Kaderali)</strong> - Jack is talking to Ketch on the computer about the egg, Sam Dean and Cas walk up behind him to look at the computer.  Ketch is telling Jack a story about his dashing adventures to get the egg.  “I improvised”.  We’re making shit up.</p><p>As an episode, this is all a setup (the whole first half of the season is a set up) because Dean cared about family and that drive was overwhelming supernatural mindcontrol.  Again.</p><p>Visually, it’s the full tfw 2.0 family together.</p><p> </p><p><strong>14.09</strong> - Dean with the spear, Sam, Jack, and Cas walking into battle against Michael while Joyful Joyful plays loudly.  We’re walking right into a trap — let’s do it.</p><p> </p><p><strong>14.08 (Glynn and Sanchez)</strong> - The bunker kitchen, Sam and Dean and Cas and Jack having dinner and beers after resurrecting Jack.  “Just glad to have you back.”  This is a moment of hope.  “We’ll figure it out.”</p><p>Together.</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Most of the episodes in this section are recent.  We’re caught up to the present day and the present questions - So what now?  What does happily ever after look like? (This is a drastic simplification - there are fewer unique character shots (5 total, one of whom appeared previously) and most of our tfw 2.0 shots are here.  The themes of the episodes in question tend to revolve around either meta stories - specifically that the story has taken on a life of it’s own and that it SHOULD be allowed to live, family threads, would you leave hunting if you could/what is happiness/what is your peace.  What do you want out of your life?</p>
  <p>Cause hunting?  Isn’t the answer anymore.  We come back to family again and again and again.  We close on multiple shots of the new family unit.</p>
  <p>Also to put my tinfoil hat on, if you look at the episodes in this last segment I can chart out a lot of the emotional plot points of s15.  If Dabb does nothing with that I'm suing for emotional whiplash and felony perjury.</p>
  <p> </p>
</blockquote><hr/><p> </p><p>[present day] car shot driving off down the road</p><p><strong>1.01</strong> - Sam closing the trunk of the impala “we’ve got work to do”</p><p> </p><p>Story isn’t over yet.  Given all the questions in these episodes, all the questions from the *show* over the years about happiness, can you walk away, what do you want out of life, and how often the answer comes back to “family”... that’s what’s left to find.</p><p>Also I’m just going to point and laugh at the fact that Dabb picked a song titled Running on Empty when the fandom is sitting there yelling at their televisions going GET CASTIEL OUT OF THE EMPTY RIGHT NOW.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you want to check my work, this is the episode list in order: </p><p>1.01, 1.01, 1.01, 1.22, 2.03, 1.03, 4.13, 5.07, 5.06, 2.20, 2.20, 12.11, 3.08, 3.03, 11.04, 3.06, 3.03, 4.18, 5.21, 4.01, 4.01, 5.10, 5.18, 5.13, 5.22, 5.22, 4.01, 6.15, 6.18, 7.08, 9.13, 2.03, 7.20, 7.21, 7.21, 8.12, 8.13, 8.13, 4.01, 14.08, 14.16, 14.07, 5.08, 5.08, 11.08, 13.16, 9.04, 6.09, 4.01, 2.02, 4.18, 5.15, 6.04, 9.12, 1.09, 13.21, 15.06, 2.02, 14.11, 11.09, 12.07, 12.21, 8.23, 12.08, 13.13, 14.13, 12.11, 13.06, 13.13, 10.05, 14.06, 10.13, 15.10, 6.10, 4.12, 10.16, 14.17, 13.05, 14.15, 14.15, 12.16, 14.04, 15.03, 9.13, 12.22, 13.09, 13.10, 11.14, 15.11, 5.08, 15.10, 15.10, 14.09, 14.09, 14.08, 1.01</p><p>Also if you actually made it down here I'm impressed and also very VERY SORRY for how much rambling there is D:</p></blockquote></div></div>
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